benetton...

bear country...

valdy.

"when they told me about the bear, i though they were kidding,
i'm like "you're bullshitting, are you for real?" they said "yeah,
it lives at the end of our street, where the forest and the
country road meet, you might see it, on your way to the
beach." on my way to the beach, on my bike, that night,
i stopped at the crossing, looked left and right,
about an hour after dusk, there wasn't much light,
i heard a rustle in the underbrush, and filled with fright,
flashed my light like OFF, ON, and OFF, honked my horn, like, HONK, HONK,
my chest got tight, heavy breath, i pedaled off..."

my first day in tobermory.

got here last night, after a whirlwind "pack-n-move," something i have gotten close to mastering in my somewhat-nomadic life. "i'll be there in an hour," my brother says on the phone from the road on his way to pick me up in my mom's friend's van. (i haven't started packing yet.)

coffee. music. throw everything into garbage bags.

organized?

yeah, right.

just get in all into something that we can carry, load the van, grab some brunch and a pint somewhere - this time at mezzrow's, for greek omelets and a pint of creemore - and hit the road. goodbye flatmates (this time "big gay charles" and "holy-shit-do-you-ever-stop-talking damon"), goodbye city (this time toronto), goodbye job (this time the rhino bar & grill, on queen st. west - great place to go for a cheap pint, terrible place to work), and hit the road...

so now i'm here. tobermory.

i was here once before. the summer before grade six. my mom and her friend across the street, vera wren, rented a cottage for a week. the two of them, vera's son mike, and my brothers and i. i don't remember much of it. flowerpot island. glass-bottom boats to look at shipwrecks under the cold water.

my little brother colin, mike and i walked to the nearest store to look for comic books one day. they didn't have any. so we decided to keep walking and find another store. well, up here, it's not like the city where you're going to find a corner store every few blocks. an hour or two went by. mom and vera - freaking out that we were taking so long - come flying over the hill in their station wagon to find the three of us walking along the side of the road. happy to find us - and know that we were safe - but furious at us for being stupid and deciding to go for a long walk in search of comic books without realizing how long we were gone for. ah well, kids, what are you gonna do?

turning over rocks to find crayfish, filling up a bucket of the things, and bringing them back to the cottage to create our own little watery zoo in the cottage's bathtub. i don't really remember how that one went over.

phone calls are expensive up here. i bought a new phone card and made two or three calls and already i'm almost out of time. i'm going to have to be careful.

the view? the air? the water?

well, that's why i'm here.

fireworks tonight. i should finish this beer and climb back on my schwinn cruiser and head down to the harbour soon.

happy canada day everybody!

cocaine tooth drops?

Weed, Booze, Cocaine and Other Old School "Medicine" Ads.

[thanks jamie for the link.]

mc 900 ft. jesus...

hell with the lid off.



welcome to my dream.


one step ahead of the spider.

whatever happend to the jbeez...

i'm leaving toronto in three weeks.

going up north to tobermory for july and august. should be nice.
i'll be the guy sitting out on the lake in a canoe with an acoustic guitar that i don't know how to play, a rice hat, and a lava lamp.

day 15 of my yoga 30-day challenge. was going really well, but i either pinched or pulled something and now the entire part of my body from my lower back to my left knee is just one bit throbbing zone of hurt.

fuck.

going to see my shrink tonight. that's been going pretty well, i think.

i do love this whole "not working" thing. i wish it could last forever. fuck wishing, i'm going to make it last forever.

new 'ok cobra' album almost done. tim sent me a couple more mixes. i like it. wish i could post up here but i think he'd get pissed at me. (i'll probably do it soon anyway...)

booking a cross-canada tour in september with the boys from 'toolshed'.

what else can i tell you? i don't know.

taking another stab at this 'master cleanse' thing. wish me luck.

it's not easy. i quit drinking coffee 6 days ago and i couldn't stay awake for the first few days. i had no caffeine had that big an effect on me/people. crazy. three days of being half-asleep, half-awake, can't stay asleep, can't stay awake.

nutso.

okay, i'm off, gotta work on this new song i'm doing with some dude in turkey...

ridiculous...

my buddy ***** sent me this link. i can't believe this is for real. he says to me, "i'm going to get an iphone just for this app." crazy.

dubai-bye nick...

went out last night to the jason george for a little get-together for my friend and former co-worker nick, who is leaving tomorrow for a year in dubai. i worked with him for years at c'est what. good dude. wish him an awesome time. hopefully i'll get over there at some point for a visit. wouldn't that be a trip? i got the travel bug hard now, after hitting europe three times in the last two years. i can't believe it took me 30 years to get my ass out of north america. i think i might go buy a world map today and put it up on my wall. (reminds me of a mitch hedberg joke that goes something like this: "i'm going to get a map of the world and put it up on my wall and put pins in all the places i've been to, but first i have to travel to the top two corners of the map, so it won't fall down...")

after spending a month - two years ago - in germany and czech republic, and then going back to czech again for that festival, and then last fall spending a month travelling around france and switzerland, i'm itching hard to see more places.

my english/scottish roots have me wanting to check out the UK (got some distant family there as well). i was planning on going to costa rica this feb./mar., but ended up going to montreal to record our new album, and blew my costa rica travel budget. i could go now, but sort of thinking "what's the point in going somewhere warm in the spring/summer?" save that for winter. i'm dying to check out asia. really thinking about vietnam/cambodia, that whole part of the world. south america? i'd love to do it, one end to the other, on a motorcycle. africa? truthfully, i don't have all that much interest in going there, although i'm sure that would change the minute i got off the plane. egypt - i simply must see the pyramids in this lifetime. china - at some point in my life i also must climb huashan. japan - okinawa... so many places to go.

ran into a couple of guys at the bar last night. rick and glenn. former c'est what regulars. guys i served for years. started chatting with them, and turns out both of them have been spending quite a bit of time in asia over the last few years. rick just got back two weeks ago from a seven-month stay in thailand. he's got a blog about it. good guys to know and brain-pick for info if/when i decide to get my ass over there.

talked to tim on the phone yesterday. his work schedule is finally easing up so he's going into full-on mixing mode now. should be done mixing the album by the end of may. then mastering, pressing, and hopefully you fuckers will buy some copies and help me get my ass on an airplane. i gotta get on top of the artwork too. we got the title for the album picked out, but i can't tell you the baby's name until it is born...

love,
ryan

wanna remix our shit...?

wanna remix our shit?

the new OK COBRA album is almost done (finally...), and will be coming out this summer.

in the meantime, i thought it would be fun to make the acapellas and instrumentals from the last album available, for anyone who might want to rock a remix...

we'll put the ones we like best together as a digital-only release this summer...

here we go...

first, if you still haven't heard the original album, click here to download it.)

1. beautiful
(acapella)
(instrumental)

2. child in rhyme
(acapella)
(instrumental)

3. fall dumbass
(acapella)
(instrumental)

4. hush
(acapella)
(instrumental)

5. juggernauts freestyle
(acapella)
(instrumental)

6. on the bus
(acapella)
(instrumental)

7. time flies
(acapella)
(instrumental)

8. bury the bodies (feat. mindbender & vangel)
(acapella)
(instrumental)

9. letter (feat. smooth sc)
(acapella)
(instrumental)

10. beer, women & rap
(acapella)
(instrumental)

(i'll put the rest of 'em up in the next day or two... just trying to find 'em...)

working the wood...

this is a song i wrote late one night (or early one morning, depending on your point of view) after work. it's about being a bartender. it's called "working the wood."

"he stands behind the bar, an undiscovered star,
pours another beer, hands it over, saying "cheers,"
you hand him your money, and he collects his tips,
picks up the bar towel, wipes up the drips,
he takes a sip of water, he's been sober now,
for a couple of months, and he doesn't know how,
a crazy way of life, the drunk girls, the fights,
it all blends in to one long sleepless night,
it's been so many years, the only life he knows,
a decade full of booze, blow and cigarette smoke,
he wants a change, he craves something else,
he's trying to grow out of his old self...
but every now and then the past rears its ugly head,
it's no longer fun, he's amazed he's not dead,
he's been lost and found again, this life hurts so good,
he's clocking in at 5pm, working the wood...

he's capable of so much, potential through the roof,
nobody knows what you can do until you give them proof,
he tried to live the corporate dream, put on a shirt and tie,
but it was such a nightmare, he kissed it good bye,
he gave his notice, plain clothes chosen, went back into service,
a starving artist, with no future, yeah it makes him nervous,
but he has faith in his calling, his art gives him true meaning,
he measures his success, not by money, but by feelings,
and right now he feels full, writing these here words,
but they may not be his best, but they're off his chest, that's worth,
and don't you dare look down on him, and think his life a waste,
the only waste he sees are those from sleep who never wake,
they sit at desks, take urine tests, have corporate cards and meetings,
car allowances, travel budgets, trying to crack that ceiling,
and in that empty world, he'll give you two things that you seek,
some music to zone out to, and of course, he'll pour some drinks...

the question is, this thing he does, he had it all to lose,
his obligation's to his muse, he's got nothing to prove,
so you can judge him, think him dumb, uneducated, worthless,
he's living underwater, struggling to surface,
at 3am, he locks the door, tired, sore and blistered,
another night, another fight for meaningful existence,
he makes his way home in the dark, picks up a pad and pencil,
and writes it all down in the dawn light creeping through the window,
he hears your stories, feels your pain, and shares with you your joys,
he keeps your cup full, celebrates your life, gives you a voice,
and sometimes in those moments, when you're down and at your worst,
he says "this one's on me tonight," and quenches more than thirst,
one thing he knows about his life is that he can't commit,
to anything more than appreciation of each moment,
and ups and downs, the ins and outs, he takes the bad with good,
and he'll be here tomorrow night, still working the wood..."

(C) 2009 ryan somers (don't matter just don't bite it)

ps. the bartender hates you...

lifestyle journal - tue. apr. 21, 2009...

okay, this is where i'm going to start plugging in my daily numbers. what i do to work out, what i eat, and other relevant stuff. so here it is for yesterday:

woke up at 12:30pm. i would have liked to have gotten up earlier (as i had planned to make it to the noon moksha yoga class), but i didn't get home from work until 4:30am, and it took me at least an hour to fall asleep. doing any sort of work-out on 4-5 hrs. sleep sucks. hard.

breakfast? two breakfast bagels from poor john's, around the corner from my house. whole wheat bagel, egg, bacon, cheese. not the best breakfast, but i caved.

i didn't get a photo of it, but here is a photo of a couple of bagels that i took a few weeks back. okay, so, ryan, one is enough. two? that is just ridiculous. i don't care how hungry you think you are when you wake up in the morning.



oh yeah, and two large coffees that i sip slow over the first couple of hours of being awake.

lunch?



spinach/squash roti. maybe not the best thing in the world, but i don't think it's that bad. spinach is good for you. squash, has to be good for you, right?

plus, a bottle of vitamin water. good stuff.

and then dinner,



spinach salad with cherry tomatoes and boccancini (sp?) and a poppyseed dressing. and water. not a bad dinner i think.

and later on i resisted the urge to have a glass of wine, sticking to water all night instead.

also, no smoking.

no working out either, but i did do some walking during the day.

breakdown:

excercise: some light walking.
smoking: no. (yay!)
water: lots.
beverages: 2 coffees and 1 bottle of vitamin water.
food: two breakfast bagels, spinach roti, and spinach salad.

conclusions?

-i should have either gone to the gym or a later yoga class.
-one whole wheat bagel is okay for breakfast, but not two. (and i don't really need cheese and bacon on there. just an egg should be fine.)
-happy that i didn't smoke.
-also happy that i stuck to water, and resisted the urge to have a glass of wine.

this is the beginning...

the inner space helmet dream...

another dream i had, this one a few weeks ago, but i don't think i've told you about it yet, so here it is...

i'm standing outside, talking to two police officers, both of them male (for some reason, i am thinking of the two cops from 'superbad,' but this is most likely after the fact). it's daylight. we're standing sort of in between two police cruisers, that are parked at an angle, towards each other, nose to nose. on the roof of each car, is a large rack, where they are collecting plastic water bottles. we're having a conversation about some new drug that people are using, involving plastic water bottles, and specifically, a friend of mine who they are worried about, someone who i am close to, who is using this drug, and they are asking me if i can help. next thing i know, i am in an apartment, and there is a small party going on. i look around, and people are wearing helmets. what look like the type of helmets an air force pilot would wear, with the oxygen masks attached to them, and the hoses from the masks attached to water bottles. people are breathing in this drug. i put on my own helmet, but it is different than everyone elses. the helmet i put on is a full-faced racing helmet - the type that would be worn by a motorcycle or race car driver. there is no mask/hose/bottle attachment. when i put the helmet on, it is like i am in space - though still very much aware that i am sitting in this apartment, wearing this helmet. but i can see stars, nebulae, space dust cloud formations, galaxies, etc., and i hear classical music. it's beautiful. breathtaking. then i take my helmet off, and see the other people in their air force/mask/hose/bottle helmets and i realize that i am quite happy with my own helmet, and that i don't need to try theirs, though it has been offered...

i think this one is pretty obvious, especially considering the things i've been working on lately... the attempted lifestyle overhaul i've been going through, getting away from the bad food/drinking/smoking/drugs and focusing on eating better, yoga, excercising, meditating, etc. whatever is in those bottles, i don't need it anymore. and i don't need to keep trying any "new" things like that either. totally sober, i can see the stars, and hear the music...

this was a beautiful dream, that i am thankful for.

(i also wonder about the significance of the whole "helmet" thing, as i grew up in a household that was full of helmets. both of my parents had been race car drivers, along with many of my uncles. my father still raced when i was a child, so, growing up, we often spent weekends in our summers, travelling to race tracks such as shannonville and mosport to watch my father race. also, my brothers and i all grew up driving racing go-karts, so, from as early as i can remember, i was wearing a helmet, and racing helmets were always around...)

cipher subconscious...

last night i had a dream that i was in a studio in somebody's apartment, and they kept playing me different beats, and i kept freestyling lyrics over them... rhyming, singing, doing it all, in different styles, even imitating other rappers' styles at times (i remember doing one freestyle in the style of the alkaholiks) and the crazy thing is, even in my sleep, i was freestyling real words. it was crazy, i woke up and for a few brief seconds i could even remember some of the rhymes that i had said. but, like most things from dreamland, when you wake up you can only glimpse a few faint wisps as they fade away...

still, it felt pretty great.

i love freestyling dreams. ciphering with one's subconscious...

a kitten in the kitchen...

you ever notice when you change something in your body chemistry, you get really crazy dreams for a while?

try it. quit smoking. or start. quit drinking. or start. take away or add anything significant to your intake and your dreams will change. at least for a few days.

last night i was in an apartment. there was some sort of a party going on. there were lockers in the kitchen. each one had a different weapon in it. but they were mostly toy weapons. or broken weapons. i was locked in the kitchen. i had locked myself in. the people in the other room were trying to get me. i hid in a closet. a child opened the closet. the door to the other room opened. i picked up a bow to fire into the doorway to stop them from coming in, but i had no arrows. earlier i had been stepping in a litter box without realizing it and somebody had said something to me. now i am crouching down, on the kitchen floor, looking at a kitten. my kitten. it has been accidentally poisoned. it is unconscious. i am talking to it, petting it, crying, hoping it wakes up. it does. it is groggy. i am told that i have to keep it awake. if it falls asleep again it will mostly likely die...

training day one...

so i decided, at the top of this year, this was going to be "the year i get my life together."

if you've been reading, then you know i've been struggling with quitting smoking, working on eating better, did the moksha yoga 30-day challenge in february. after looking into a few different gyms, i finally decided on joining goodlife, and went in a couple of weeks ago to sign up. i opted to set up six sessions with a personal trainer, to get me started, as i have no idea how to find my way around in the gym. i don't have the slightest clue where to start, what to do, how to do it, for how long, and how often. so i go in, to meet with "jason," my trainer, and i had to fill out what i thought was some standard "rate your health" type of form. well, goodlife is a big company, with i'm sure a number of big-time lawyers who make sure everything is all legal-like. so, when i stupidly checked the wrong couple of boxes on the form, indicating that i had some slight joint issues, i was told that i wouldn't be allowed to start working out until i got the OK from my doctor.

really?

yup.

can't you just give me another copy of that form and i'll check the other box instead?

nope. sorry. it's a legality issue...

fast forward two weeks, i booked down to london last week for a quick physical with my doctor (thanks for squeezing me in), and i'm back at the gym with my signed consent form.

i started on monday. got a basic walk through the circuit training machines. biceps. triceps. quads. delts. abs. etc., starting and finishing with some time on the bike. felt pretty good after. i'm still feeling it in my muscles.

i'm hoping to alternate gym days with yoga days, but shitty, i didn't get up in time yesterday to make it to the noon yoga class. (doesn't help that i didn't get home from work until 4:30am - i need a new job, but that's a different story...)

anyway, i'm working with jason on developing a program for me. he took my weight, height, bmi, blood pressure, etc., and we discussed my goals.

he's also got me keeping a food journal. i'm a little embarassed to hand it over to him at this point. i can do better. i WILL do better.

my motivation? i've got a picture of myself on my wall from three summers ago. i was about 20 pounds lighter. i swore i'd never let this happen. not that i'm mega obese or anything, but shit, i just know how much BETTER i feel in life without carrying around that extra few pounds. more energy. more agile. lighter. taller. happier...

so, my goals, as i discussed with my trainer, are the following:

1. just to BE healthier.
-this will obviously come from a combination of excercise, better eating, and overall lifestyle changes.

2. to lose 20 pounds.
-right now, i'm hovering around in the 190-195 range. i'd like to get down to 175 and see how that feels. maybe at that point, i'll want to go further, or maybe that will be enough.

3. to quit smoking for GOOD.
-this one is on me. it's a fight. i'm fighting it. but it's not good enough to be fighting it. you have to be winning it, ALL THE TIME. or else you lose.

4. to achieve better muscle definition.
-this can only come from making 'em burn. burn, baby, burn...

5. greater flexibility.
-yoga. yoga. yoga. yoga. yoga. nothing beats it.

i'm sure i'll think of more things i want to accomplish (learning french - and the guitar - are two that spring to mind, but that's another story), but more on that later. for now, i'm going to start keeping a log of my progress on here for you. starting later today when i get home from my second session with my trainer.

i'll be checking in daily with my weight, what excercises i'm doing, and what i'm eating/drinking, in hope that some of you will remind me to lay off the ciders after work, as they surely aren't helping.

i'll be taking pictures of myself, to note the changes in my body (yeah, right now i'm a "before" hoping to become an "after"), as well as taking pictures of the things i eat and drink.

i don't know if anyone will even read this - or care - but just the very act of putting it out there will make me that much more aware of everything on a daily basis. i just know it.

okay, i'm off... gotta get my shorts on and head to the gym... just going to finish my coffee first...